I feel like I’ve written this newsletter a hundred times, and it’s maybe the whole reason for this newsletter. The theme if you will.
And that theme is this: Keep going. Just keep swimming. Get knocked down? You bet I’m getting up again.1
I guess it’s kind of the theme of life. It’s a cycle I repeat: I get hyped up on changing my life and start a new habit or venture. I am passionate about keeping up with it… then I dip down. Then I get back into it and then, I completely drop it. Then I always feel ashamed and am way too hard on myself. My pride wants me to give up if it’s not perfect. It’s not fun, is it?
So there are two things I remember. The first thing is that if a goal doesn’t stick, it might be because it’s not necessary. Do you want to get up at 6am because there are things that are important to accomplish in the early morning? Do you enjoy it/the effects of it? Or is it because you think you should be waking up at 6am every morning and it will magically make you happy and healthy? Make sure you’re doing what feels right to you. Some people do better if they sleep in til 7:30 and stay up a little later.
The second thing is that the whole point of growth is failure. Growth literally wouldn’t exist without failure. I read somewhere that if you want more success in your life you also need to start “failing” a lot more, so you can move forward. Heck, call them lessons, contrast, whatever! It doesn’t have to be a negative word. But the more you fail, the more you learn.
The reason my mind is coming back to this is my new little habit tracker. I got it to keep track of my daily habits for a whole month. Until I lost my friend, I was doing great at filling it in. I was missing some habits on some days, but always taking the time to fill out the chart at least. But then life got really sad and hard. I needed to grieve. Habit trackers weren’t important at this time.
I’ll admit I was bummed for a moment or two when I pulled it out again on the 21st and realized I had a huge white space of days I missed. If I fill out the chart for the rest of the month it won’t “make up” for the fact that I missed days… I might as well quit, I thought. But then I remembered that this isn’t my senior high school attendance schedule. I don’t have to “make up” anything.
The biggest way to improve self-esteem (in my experience) is to keep promises to yourself. Make yourself proud. My promise isn’t perfection I realized, my promise to myself is resilience. So you bet your bottom dollar this gal is going to keep filling out the chart even when it’s not perfect.
So f the white spaces, the blanks, and the mistakes.
Keep going!
Xx, Chloe
My planner looks like this and it won’t stop me:
Here’s your song of the week:
I’ve think I’ve referenced Tubthumping by Chumbawamba (“I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I GET UP AGAIN song) more times than I’ve paid my taxes.