If there’s one thing about me it’s that I—
…get overwhelmed easily. Combine that with a deep-rooted unhealed need to over-achieve (to compensate for my ADHD shame), my oldest child syndrome, and my love for so many different things and we’ve got a gal with too much on her plate who doesn’t make a lot of time for rest. As someone with a Virgo moon, this is lethal.
If you’re a long-time reader, you’re probably like: no shit, you’ve written this essay 17 times already. But guess what guys, I’m going to write it again.
I just spent about two weeks off and on in LA for work. I got to go to the American Music Awards! Bye bye! So cool. Pause for my outfit:
It really soaked up a lot of my team’s energy and time, and we were all blissfully pooped. High on reaching new goals and seeing Kodak Black IRL. When I returned home, I was also blessed with a massive influx of custom portraits at Sobriquet! An early rush, even. Usually, I don’t have this many until December. Let me put this into perspective: one month I could get two custom portrait orders, and in November/December I’ll have like, 300. Mama has a stunning full-time job so these are done in the early mornings and late into the night. My arm almost falls off by Dec 25, but it brings me so much joy that I actually look forward to it every year.
So when my plane landed in SLC I started to slip into my little habit of crafting a “perfect” weekend. I was coming home from my work trip to Thanksgiving. I’d have a few days off to see my sister in town, work on my art orders, and naturally deep-clean my house from head to toe. I’d probably even have time to re-read the whole Harry Potter series, that’s how manically positive I get when I try to plan things perfectly.
The universe said L! O! L! when I woke up the day after Thanksgiving with a burning throat. My mind flashed back to the kid who coughed up a whole lung behind me on the plane, and I suddenly wished I was one of those people who wore masks even after it was mandatory. The sickness continued to grow and evolve as some do, and now I am sitting here on Monday with a stream of snot running down my face and 5 new cavities from ingesting so many cough drops, with piles of messes around me, barely any progress made on orders, and aching bones.
I am the queen of marketing if I do say so myself (in fact, James Charles also said this to me once, long story) so I was looking forward to sharing the heartwarming story of my business on Small Business Saturday. I was going to produce a stunning shoot that shows off every product I sell, and blow things out of the water, saleswise.
But I was barely able to muster the energy to share the stories I was tagged in, and now I’m left even more behind on what I need to do. (Luckily, I still beat my sales goal, thanks to you supportive queens :’))
My body started to buzz, my addiction to freaking TF out, kicking in. But I decided that it doesn’t have to be this way. The chaos I create in my head, not my hands. There is a way to approach this season of life, and these circumstances with a chill acceptance.
Here’s the thing Chloe, you’re not perfect. I decided to celebrate a weekend that didn’t go as planned and rejoice in a life that keeps me on my toes. This must be what was meant to be because it happened, I say to myself and decide to enjoy my life instead. I’m going to go back to romanticizing my tasks and rolling with the punches.
Cheers! xx Chloe
Links to share:
Everything will be 30% off on my site through the week
My favorite video of the year is here!!!
*Obviously mental health is not always a choice, this isn’t to diminish anyone who can’t just “decide” to heal or move on. This is (hopefully) an encouraging personal experience/triumph.
Wow so relatable. I too, am a Virgo to the core. Meticulously planned out my 5 days off for thanksgiving and the ya girl threw her back out the day before the holiday. I guess sometimes we just need to sit the eff down? Hope your feeling better!