If there’s one negative emotion that I am subconsciously addicted to, living over and over again, it’s the feeling of overwhelm. And for good reason! On top of being a human alive on earth, I tend to overstimulate myself and take too much on. But that’s not exactly what I’m talking about today.
This morning I was feeling overwhelmed by the following:
an ad I put my heart and soul into (WITH ARMANI) didn’t perform on social media as well as I wanted/expected.
I had a call with an insurance agent about healthcare (just got kicked off of my parents plan) and realized that a healthy year of life would cost me $8K out of pocket (i have a cancer mutation), who knows what a year with an accident or sickness would come to.
i have missed calls, texts, and dm’s
me and my bf are sharing a car right now and he has mine today, so i felt trapped at home (excuse to doordash at least)
the conversation around social media + irrational fear that I will lose my traction (re: COMMUNITY) (aka LOSING MY BFF’s) (as well as HURTING MY BUSINESS) on social media if I don’t make incredible reels, or whatever
feeling like we’ve outgrown my apartment and have nowhere to put/organize all our things
shit i need a manicure
acne?????
I literally thought I might explode.
It has been like two hours and I am completely over it, so I thought I’d talk about how I got to where I am now. I took a deep breath and thought about all the things I’ve accomplished that I never thought I would have. I thought about the confidence that comes from doing something you’ve been avoiding. I thought about how privileged and blessed I am, and how I was completely capable of moving forward in peace and alignment.
And some may call this toxic, but I tipped my head back and laughed. I thought about how amusing this list was, especially the part where I was stressed about the future of instagram. I’m going to figure it out, I always do. If I have to sit back and let things unfold in a light, curious manner then I will. I think this is a form of acceptance?
When you’re doing something you love, it doesn’t mean that life instantly gets easier and your problems go away. It just means that your problems are easier to tackle because they are worth it.
So here’s the thing, when I ask myself where I want to be….. it’s here. It’s alive on earth. I’ll gladly spend some of my time figuring out my insurance if it means I get to spend the rest of my time going on walks, laughing with my friends, and spending time with my family. A bite of perfectly charred steak on a summer night is worth the traffic on the drive over. Because in the end, we’re just going to die, and I won’t be thinking about the insurance, I’ll be thinking about the steak, the coffee, and the good times.
Maybe life is so beautiful that it’s all worth it.
Xx Chloe
activities do to spark joy every day:
make a list of what you’re enjoying + excited for
make a list of what you can control
think of how you can detach from an idea or situation’s outcomes, think of how you can reframe the situation and look at it lightheartedly. I’ll go into this next week
remind yourself that growth comes out of pain, innovation only exists because of a “crisis” no matter how minute your crisis actually is.
take a freaking break w/ a mindless activity
wine. alpacas:
Loved this ❤️